I try

There are few things in life that i've been trying so hard to gain for a very long time yet i can't. I can frankly say to you, i don't really have many friends, in this case, especially girlfriends. Not to mean anything. It's just the awful fact. I've always been struggling with friendship ever since i was a kid. Friends are important people in our lives, who wouldn't agree with that? To me, friends are family and family should be just like friends to you.

I'm not a nasty type of friend, i can assure you. It's just that being boring and lame are few things that describe me. I am not fun enough to hang out with, at least i feel so. I am not so good with words and being a quiet and shy girl, i've always in demand of talkative friends, and in this case my best friend in high school fits that need the most. I have few close friends in high school -the one i shared to you on my previous post,we've been through a lot, and i'm glad i had them. =D

The worst is that i'd never change much, even if i hung out everyday with my talkative friends, i am still the quiet shy girl that i was. Going to Malaysia to study, i had a big hope of changing, being a new me -a more talkative me, that's what i thought. But things could never be easier. One step wrong and it's hell trying to turn back everything. Maybe most of the people who know me on the outside now would give you thousands of reasons why they don't like me. I know, they only know me on the surface. But it's not like i didn't try. I tried my best. The point is, maybe i tried too hard. I tried too hard to be liked, although they never tried to know me better. I've always tried to be the best friend that i can be. But it's hard to compromise people the moment they judged you even before you can say a word.

Sometimes i feel so lonely. I can tell you, the only people who know me best right here, right now are my twin sister and bf. Other than that, they might not even know what color i love the most. It's a painful realization really. When you are far away from your family, who else can you run into when you don't have friends around?
It's not that i'm not satisfied with what i have now. I am really really grateful with what i have. It's just that at times when i'm down i don't feel like bothering these two people i love most. Don't you ever feel that way? Or at least a few of you?

At last, be grateful with what you have now. If you have a lot of friends, especially genuine ones be thankful. If you don't, don't feel left behind. Be a good friend yourself and you should gain the same. =)

The best part of life is when your family becomes your friends, and your friends become your family.-Danica Whitfield